A Little About Me

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I'm a 29yr old first time dad living in South East London. I have been married to my gorgeous wife since September 2009. We are looking forward to the next chapter in our lives with our darling daughter, LC

Sunday, 21 August 2011

How did we get here?

The following is a history of how we got to where we are today, it is quite long but it covers several months in one hit. Be brave!

As I said before, my wife and I were married in September 2009. We had discussed it before but on our honeymoon we decided that we both wanted to have kids. Instead of trying to conceive we decided that it would be better to stop trying not to, if you see what I mean. 

V had been on the contraceptive pill for some years and it took a while for her periods to come back in to sync and we eventually got our first BFP (big fat positive) in May 2010. We were both over the moon and so excited. However it turned out to be a chemical pregnancy and we were both left a little uncertain about what had happened and how. 

It was at this point that we both (unbeknownst to each other) joined the Baby and Bump forums. We found that we weren't just a statistic and that other people had been through this before. It gave us heart to hear that and we carried out with our not trying to prevent pregnancy!

V's cycles were still quite long but we got a second BFP in early September 2010. Again we were over the moon, both really excited at the things to come. I was a little apprehensive at getting too excited due to our previous bad luck. Days passed and we visited our GP who referred us for an early scan.

The scan, at 5 weeks, showed a little gestational sac inside which was our little baby in waiting. We couldn't see the heartbeat but returned the following week and there it was, fluttering away at nineteen to the dozen. V had been having some very light spotting but the doctor and scan technician had both reassured her. We were overjoyed.

We went along to a work colleague's wedding and were having a god time. V felt some discomfort in her stomach and excused herself to the toilet. Some ten minutes later I got a call from V, she had passed a large blood clot and was crying uncontrollably. We made our excuses and went to the nearest A&E. 

Upon arrival V gave a urine sample, which showed clear for UTI, however no techinicians were available to carry out a scan until Monday, two days away. We went home and I did my best to re-assure V, who was still very distressed. When we attended the hospital again on Monday, the scan showed that we had suffered a miscarriage. 

I can't put in to words how that felt... a kick in the stomach? or lower? that was nowhere near.We returned home and took a couple of days off work to get our heads around what had happened. 

There were some hard, dark days back then but I believe it made our relationship stronger and, although fragile, we came out of the other end. One thing we knew for certain was that we both wanted to have a baby more than ever.

V had been on Baby and Bump a lot and had made a group of friends who told her about the "Sperm Meets Egg" plan. This basically consists of doing the baby dance every other day and then every day for three days during ovulation.

We tried this for a couple of months but, and I hate to admit it, due to V's long cycles, it was hard to maintain. 

We had been reading up on Poly Cystic Ovary Syndrome as it tied in with some symptoms V had as well as the long cycles. We went along for a scan after New Year (2011) to see if this was the case, hoping that it was and we could receive treatment. 

The scan technician could not have been more miserable, she asked the basic questions: name, address, why do you think you have PCOS, etc. A couple of minutes in to the scan she said that V was not classed as having PCOS as although she has some cysts, there weren't enough to officially be classed with the syndrome. She then asked if we had been trying to conceive currently? 

Now - we had still been trying but not as strictly as during the Sperm Meets Egg days. V had some time off between Christmas and New Year and we had simply been enjoying "a lay in" each morning ;o)

We said that we were trying to conceive and she proceeded to show us how she had found what she thought to be as gestational sac in one of V's fallopian tubes. She said she couldn't be sure and not get our hopes up but it could be the early signs of a pregnancy.

We thanked her, left hospital and went to the cinema. Neither of us watched much of the film we saw, in fact I can't remember what it even was. I do know that we shared a bag of Mars Planets though!

A couple of weeks later, whilst shopping during her lunch break, V bought and carried out a pregnancy test. At my desk at work I received a text, one line:

"So, it seems that it was a sac!"


  1. This is such a lovely story :)

    I cant wait to read more of your posts.

    (Im Deans OH btw!)

    Steph x