Phoneless

So, as those of you who follow me on Twitter may have heard, I am phoneless for approx 5 days.

It started with an innocent drop of the phone when coming down the stairs and has ended in me becoming a social outcast. I have so far survived for 1.5hrs without my beloved iPhone and I feel completely distressed by the whole situation.

I use my phone for everything, Twitter, Facebook, emails (work and personal), keeping in touch with V whilst at work and receiving pics of LC to get me through to hometime. I listen to podcasts on my way to work and even use it as a satnav when I hit traffic. What am I going to do for 5 whole days?

I'm going to go in to an O2 store as the team on the phone said they would lend me a phone whilst mine is repaired or replaced. I am already panicking that they'll say they have none in store or that they won't as reported the repair over the phone. I don't know why I think this is what they'll say? Maybe I'm preparing myself for the worst. 

So, my plan is to just be brave, keep in touch with V by email for the time being and take sleeping tablets for four days until the return of my connection to the outside world. 

Have any of you ever been without your phone for any length of time? If so, did you cope better than I currently am?

Why The Competition?

Are we the only parents who are honest about their baby's sleeping patterns?

It seems every week we're looked at sympathetically by someone telling us how their baby slept for eight hours immediately from birth?

Sure, I bet there are babies that do sleep for longer than average, but I doubt that everyone we know with a baby is in that minority.

I also know that LC was was 5 weeks early and a such doesn't currently eat as much as other 'full term' babies of the same age as her.

But, I just don't care!

When we first got LC home she would go for an hour (hour and a half if we were lucky) between feeds as she just couldn't eat any more than her little tummy would take. Yes, it was hard work but we made it through those couple of weeks by working together and doing shifts.

Now she is 12 weeks we've just for up to four hours between feeds. Heaven to us but we're still sympathised with by the superior baby parents.

One person told V that their daughter slept through from 8 weeks only for her father to tell me that they still get up to her once a night - at 4 months old.

So, why lie about it? I get parents are proud of their kids but they are all babies at one point and they all have their good and bad points.

You don't need to lie about your babies development to impress me. You have to have grown up yourself to do that!

Rant over, sorry folks :)

Birth Story from Primary School

So, this post is allegedly from an anonymous primary school teacher following a show and tell class. Obviously I can't comment on whether it's fictional or not but I enjoyed it so will share :)

I've been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids myself, but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own second grade classroom a few years back.

When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I always have a few sessions with my students. It helps them get over shyness and usually, show-and-tell is pretty tame. Kids bring in pet turtles, model airplanes, pictures of fish they catch, stuff like that. And I never, ever place any boundaries or limitations on them.. If they want to lug it in to school and talk about it, they're welcome.

Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright, very outgoing kid, takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the class with a pillow stuffed under her sweater.

She holds up a snapshot of an infant. 'This is Luke, my baby brother, and I'm going to tell you about his birthday.'

'First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their love, and then Dad put a seed in my Mom's stomach, and Luke grew in there. He ate for nine months through an umbrella cord.'

She's standing there with her hands on the pillow, and I'm trying not to laugh and wishing I had my camcorder with me. The kids are watching her in amazement.

'Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts saying and going, 'Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh!' Erica puts a hand behind her back and groans. 'She walked around the house for, like an hour, 'Oh, oh, oh!' (Now this kid is doing a hysterical duck walk and groaning.)

'My Dad called the middle wife.. She delivers babies, but she doesn't have a sign on the car like the Domino's man. They got my Mom to lie down in bed like this..' (Then Erica lies down with her back against the wall.)

'And then, pop! My Mom had this bag of water she kept in there in case he got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over the bed, like psshhheew!' (This kid has her legs spread with her little hands miming water flowing away. It was too much!)

'Then the middle wife starts saying 'push, push,' and 'breathe, breathe They started counting, but never even got past ten. Then, all of a sudden, out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky stuff that they all said it was from Mom's play-center, (placenta) so there must be a lot of toys inside there. When he got out, the middle wife spanked him for crawling up in there.'

Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to her seat I'm sure I applauded the loudest.